Depression in Men

MAN UP!
You’re not depressed , you’re just sad
Just cheer up mate
Men don’t cry
Just smile
Get over yourself
It ain’t that bad
Could be worse

Annoying right?

MAN DOWN
Would you cry out for help?
Or is pride and ego getting in the way?
If you got shot or stood on an IED you would need help…… wouldn’t you?
Is depression is it even a thing?
Are we just sad ?
Moping around and feeling sorry for ourselves?
Or do we just need to MAN UP?

Look at the images above.

Which one of these blokes would you say is depressed?
Majority of people will say the bloke crouched into a ball holding his head. This is because that’s what we have been told over the years.

However, a lot of the time. Men actually mask their mental illnesses like depression with a ‘smile’ or being that joker in the room. Ironically a lot of male comedians are depressed and use humour to express tragedy.

But here’s what’s not funny. Someone dies from suicide every 40 seconds.

Take a minute to allow that number to sink in, a person would have died from suicide.

The statistics are scary.

But, there is good news!

We can spot the signs of depression now. It’s not just sitting in a dark room, curled up into a ball. Or not wanting to move from our beds. It could be a fully functioning person, leading an everyday ‘normal life’.

So what are the signs then?
Well we can break this down into more sizeable chunks

Emotional
– Low mood
– Little interest in anything
– Feeling of low self worth
– Suicidal thoughts

Physical
– Poor sleep
– Low sex drive
– Fluctuation in appetite
– Energy imbalance
– Agitated and short tempered

Cognitive
– Poor memory
– Lack of concentration

There’s a lot there isn’t there? Feel like less of a man if you felt / feel any of them?

Well you shouldn’t.

At some point we all have these feelings to some degree. In micro and macro proportions. Majority of men can find coping techniques and strategies, which are shared further down. But there is no shame in having these feelings.

We are human. We have feelings and it’s perfectly okay to feel and express them.

Many men have had their own experiences with depression. Suicidal thoughts, self harming physically and mentally. Days where they might be the life and soul of the party but the insides are crying for help and not wanting anyone near them and whatsoever.

But we can build, stronger day by day.

So, what causes depression?
This is a question that can sometimes be hard to answer.

But here are a few causes.

Depression can be:

Hereditary
Environmental
Abuse
Trauma
Age
Gender
Substance abuse
Unemployment
Low income

If you think it may be depression you are suffering with then you need to start talking, speak to your doctor and get ball rolling with some positive steps forward.

What to do if you think you’re depressed or someone you care for is depressed?

Do a check in on yourself / them.
Ask yourself / them if you / they are ok.
Like really ok.
Are you / they showing any signs and symptoms as laid out above
If you / they are in immediate danger of harming yourself or others then call the emergency services ASAP.
Talk to a friend, family member, your doctor.
Reach out to local charities who can provide free support.

It can sound really old and clichèd but, exercise, healthy balanced diet can really help support you whilst battling with depression. The mind and body are all connected as one. Keep working on both of them and you will be far stronger going forward. Ultimately talking will be the first step to helping you.

It makes you more of a man to talk than not too.

Never underestimate how powerful you are as a MAN and as a HUMAN.

Remember to stay safe.

Here are some helplines that you can reach out to:

National Care Hotline 8am to 12am 1800-202-6868
For COVID-19 related mental health distress, Samaritans of Singapore (24 hour)
1-767 (1-SOS)
1800-221-444
Institute of Mental Health (24-hour)
6389-2222
mindline.sg – a digital stress management platform that aims to empower and equip individuals with tools, knowledge and pathways to self-care and seek out professional help when needed.